Ever since Joshua was a young boy of seven, he was constantly asked, “what is your goal in life?”
He would shout out with glee, “to ride a camel!”
That always managed to bring about a round of applause and laughter, until one day when his parents were giving a party and at that party he was introduced to the guests. Then as a flight of fancy his mother asked him, “Joshua, why don’t you tell everyone here what it is you want to do when you grow up.”
And it never failed. He threw up his hands nearly hitting his sister who stood next to him in the face and said, “I’m going to ride a camel.” And then as a follow up he was asked by a guest where he would like to ride the camel, and Joshua answered to the best of his ability, “in the land of sand.”
“Arabia!” shouted one guest.
He was now the centre of attention and gladly shouted, “yes.”
Then another guest wishing not to be outdone and to grab some of the limelight for himself asked, “now Joshua, do you want to ride a Dromedary or a Bactrian camel?”
Well, much to his sister’s delight he was stumped. You could tell that by the look on his face. His parents tried to rescue him, just as any parent would.
“Oh, a dromedary,” his father answered quickly.
“Yes,” replied Joshua now back in the groove of things, “a droma whatever. Anyway, I don’t want to ride bacteria.” That brought the house down and the smart Alec who tried to upstage a child of seven, received a sharp dig in his ribs by an even sharper looking woman standing next to him. That made him wince and double over in pain. Expertly done and the man on his right and the woman on his left deftly closed ranks so that the rest of the party wouldn’t witness the man who was now in severe pain. He consequently poured his white wine down the front of his even whiter pants which left a slightly yellowish stain on them. That prompted one guest to ask him if his colostomy bag had overflowed. Needless to say, that brought about a sudden crescendo of laughter. The man after all wasn’t very popular any longer. In his utter embarrassment he grabbed the nearest napkin and tucked one end into his pants and let the rest hang down which actually made things even worse, as it drew attention to his misfortune. There was only one solution and that was to leave ungraciously. Even the next-door neighbour’s son who that evening was doubling as a valet, couldn’t help but notice the now really yellow stain on the front of his pants. But to the young boy’s credit he looked the other way before laughing his head off which he then followed up with a coughing fit as he tried unsuccessfully to cover up his indiscretion. Once the unwanted guest had been despatched, Joshua and his younger sister Rita were sent upstairs to bed accompanied by their nanny. Joshua however all the way up and during brushing his teeth, kept asking why that moron, my word not his, would want him to ride a bacteria when he quite plainly had said a camel.
Many years later when Joshua had finally grown up and graduated from college, he took a teaching job in the Central Asian Republic of Kazakhstan. Why Kazakhstan? he was asked by his parents who had retired and were living comfortable lives in a spectacular home between the third and fourth greens of the golf course in Campo Rancho, Florida.
Joshua replied, “quite seriously mother and father they were the only people who offered me a job.”
And so off he went to teach English at the Kazakhstan High School for the Unfit. But his biggest surprise came when he landed at the airport in broad day light, the airport couldn’t handle night landings because all the runway lights had fused, and no one knew how to replace them. While he was standing in line waiting for his luggage to arrive, he saw an animal which really confused him. He turned to the man on his left and asked, “what is that?”
The man replied, “a camel.”
Immediately, Joshua was transported back several years to the night of his parents’ party. “And what sort of camel is that?” he asked, “because it has two humps and not one.”
“A Bactrian camel,” the man replied, “don’t you know there are two types of camels?”
Joshua shook his head, “I thought they only had one hump.” So, Joshua stayed in Kazakhstan for a few years, during which time he rode the Bactrian camel on many occasions. And in the end, he had to say that they were more comfortable than camels that had only one hump. That’s because the rider could sit between each hump and use the one behind them as a back rest. When he finally came home after years abroad, he just happened to be in a restaurant when he looked over at a table in the far corner near the kitchen, and thought he recognised the man sitting there alone. After searching his brain, he finally concluded that the man was the very one from years earlier who had tried to make himself sound highly intelligent at his parent’s party. Without waiting another second, because the man looked really depressed, Joshua walked over and introduced himself. He was genuinely pleased to see Joshua who he hadn’t seen since that night at the party. Joshua sat down.
“I have an apology to make to you. I just got back from Kazakhstan where I lived for many years and yes, I have ridden a Bactrian camel and I must say that they are far more comfortable that the one hump variety.
Mr. Green was indeed very pleased to hear his stories and then finally asked, “What were you doing in Kazakhstan?”
“Teaching English at one of their high schools.”
“No, really?” Mr. Green asked rather animatedly, “so did I many years ago. At the High School for the Unfortunate.”
“Yes, yes,” shouted Joshua to the consternation of the other diners, “they were right across the road from us. Now isn’t that amazing?”
“I think your friend has arrived,” said Mr Green, looking over at the table where Joshua once sat.
“Why don’t you join us Mr Green,” Joshua replied, “I would love you to meet my friend, he lives in Saudi Arabia.”